Maybe one day…

I had a dream a few nights ago.
This is not uncommon, I know. But that dream was interesting, maybe even special. In my 100 facts I write that I have always felt a special connection with one specific girl in my class. So last week I dreamt about her.
I was at a reunion party and they were all there, all my former class mates. We ere sitting at tables and even the teachers were there, but they didn’t recognize me. One thing I specifically remember is that I wasn’t ashamed of my life at this party, I felt good about what I was doing at this point in my life.
She, let’s call her C., arrived later that night and everyone was really excited and happy that she was there any they hugged her and she cried. Then there was supposed to the some kind of ball in another room and everyone was dressed up except for me so I stayed in the first room. And she stayed with me. We talked about a lot of thing and I felt honored because she was with me. I really felt comfortable and I almost told her the things I was never able to tell her. I think I told her that I almost told her but then I woke up.
This dream made me thing about everything that happened again. Our time in school, this connection. It’s really weird. I don’t know if she felt it, too. I never dared to ask her. And it’s really difficult to describe.
When we talked for the first time, 20 years ago, we must have been 10 or 11 years old, it felt like I had known her forever. We were friends from then on, not like BFFs but still friends, you know, the kind of friend I am able to be.
When we were in 6th or 7th grade some things happened to her. No bad things, just little things, but the interesting part was that I knew these things in advance, like I felt it would happen. It was was very confusing for me at that time. And it still makes me wonder.
Anyway, in 8th grade something else happened, I don’t really know why or what it was, but our friendship ended. She started treating me bad just like the rest of the class did. This lasted for about 2 years.
However, I still felt that connection to her, all this time.
In 10th grade we got closer again, everything calmed down, the class got more mature I guess. There was still a distance between us but we had some classes together and sat next to each other, kinda became friends again and things like that.
Then we graduated, went to different universities and hardly saw each other again. Occasionally we’d run into each other on the train because we had to take the same train to university, not always at the same time though. We even emailed each other for a while. I don’t know why but after a while we stopped, I guess because both of us got too busy with life. After several years I found that she had apparently changed her email address and we couldn’t get into contact anymore. I missed her and I thought about her all the time, dreamt about her and wondered what she was doing. Not long ago I found her on one of those social networks. Now I know how to reach her and that I can always send her a message if I want to. I even found out that she lives just a few blocks from me.
That’s the story.
Anyway, I still feel that connection and I just can’t explain it. I have never felt that with anybody else before and I don’t know what it is. I don’t know how else to describe it, it’s like she was a part of me and we belonged together somehow, not in a romantic kind of way or anything.
I never told anybody about that because I thought it might sound ridiculous to others. And maybe it is, maybe there is nothing, maybe I’m just imagining things, who knows. But that doesn’t change how I feel about it. And maybe we’re supposed to meet again one day, though I feel that now is not the time.


1 Comment

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One response to “Maybe one day…

  1. catgiggles

    You made me think of one of my schoolbuddies myself. tha’s really sad. I tried to find her on all socialnetworks I know. I even considered to call her parents, if they still live in my old town. But I guess you are right, if it is meant to be a special friendship we’ll meet again sometime. Maybe your friend will contact you, that would be great, or you will sometime. I guess you would have lots of stuff to talk about. I’m sure you’ll see her again.
    Take care! Lots of Love and Hugs! Cat

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